Psalm 4, Proverbs 4, Joshua 4, Isaiah 4, Job 4
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So…I stink at writing down what I’ve read for the day. I probably wouldn’t have noticed either, but I did my reading at the DMV today. Like I said before, I’m following a watered-down version of Professor Horner’s plan for reading the Bible. The plan is written down on a note on my computer. So today, when I was without my computer at the DMV, I figured I’d just access my blog through my iPhone. And then I realized I’m an idiot who fails at Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V. Oh well.
I was at the DMV because I had to renew my driver’s license. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be: I made an appointment, so I only really had to wait for about 30 minutes, which I spent reading. I can’t imagine how it was for anybody who didn’t have an appointment…the place was packed. I don’t know if it’s the state budget cuts or if it’s just San Diego, but I can’t remember not being able to find parking near the DMV in San Jose.
It’s an interesting place, the DMV. For one thing, there’s plenty of diversity, since everyone needs to drive. But I think the DMV is relatively unique in one aspect: no one wants to be there. And it really brings out the worst in people. For example, I took two steps out of line to check out one of the posters hanging on a wall, and whoop, the three people behind me erased my spot in line. Not a hint of remorse. I kinda tried to squeeze back in, but they all just stared straight ahead. Really cold. I probably should have tried harder to get back in, but they were all girls, and ladies first, right?
Anyway, the incident I really wanted to write about happened as I just got inside the DMV. I was about a minute late for my appointment (this doesn’t matter, but I didn’t know that) because I was looking for parking, so I turned a corner kinda fast and ran into a stroller with a kid in it. Now, my reflexes aren’t ninja-like or anything, but I was quick enough to avoid moving the stroller too much. It moved half an inch, max. And the kid’s father (presumably) gives me this look of death and says, “Watch where you’re going, [Focker].”
I’m not a huge fan of his tone, but I know I’m at fault, so I say, “I’m sorry, sir,” and look for my line. Which, unfortunately, was right in front of this guy. And this guy’s just staring daggers at me. Worse, he’s having a conversation with his wife (presumably) and everyone else within 5 meters about clumsy idiots who can’t look where they’re going. At this point, I’m somewhat annoyed. For a fleeting moment, I consider confronting him physically. More than usual.
This is why I stand with my back to walls most of the time. Well, this and the fact that I don't have to bear all my weight.
My imagination gets far enough to the point where I remember consciously thinking “I could totally take this guy*”… but my anger quickly evaporates when I realize his wife and kid are there. Also, I figure that I would probably lose my place in line. Which I eventually would, anyway, but I didn’t know that then.
*This is big, since my imagination doesn’t let me win a lot of the time. Every now and then, I’ll have a dream or dream sequence with a crappy ending…and I’ll spend a long time trying to dream up a happier ending, but my mind won’t let me. It sucks.
This all happened over the course of about five seconds. I don’t think I dealt with the situation poorly, persay…I apologized politely, I ignored about a minute of abuse, and even my anger disappeared relatively quickly. But it’s a situation that’s still stuck in my mind hours later, and I’m trying to consider the best way I possibly could have dealt with it.
First, I’m not proud of the momentary flare-up in my mind. There’s one truth I have tried to ingrain in my mind over the past month or so, and it goes like this: Situations don’t make a bad person. If I react to a situation poorly, it’s because the sin is already inside of me, and the situation is merely revealing it to the outside world. So that anger, as fleeting as it might have been, was definitely in my heart.
Secondly, what remained after the anger left was definitely cool. I did mentally excuse him for what he was doing, but the feelings I had toward him were definitely not Christian love. And I suppose he was, at that time, as close as I have to an enemy in this world. Even now, I’m trying to muster up some feelings of charity, but it’s tough.
Anywho, figured I should write about that before I forget it. I WILL write on Rahab soon. I need to.
-Tim